Again
by vandevere
Summary: Reposted to correct errors. Yuna chooses the Final Aeon. Character Deaths


**Again**

He was stumbling down Mount Gagazet…

_Again…_

He scarcely felt the pain of broken ribs and collar-bone. Grief, and guilt, provided a more potent form of agony.

Yuna…

_Of, gods…Yuna…_

So like her father, so like Lord Braska. She had made her choice, the same choice made by Lord Braska, all those years ago, to Summon the Final Aeon. Auron had found himself recapitulating his actions from before, pleading with her to reconsider, to find another way to defeat Sin. Yuna listened, nodding, as Braska had done ten years before. Then, Yunalesca nodding gentle encouragement, she made her choice…

Feeling control slipping, Auron actually considered grabbing Yuna and fleeing; and where he came up with _that_, he would never be able to say.

But, he never got the chance…

What was it that stopped the Legendary Guardian? Was it Yunalesca? Lord Seymour? Fiends? Or even his fellow Guardians?

No. It was Yuna herself…

_A mere slip of a girl. I could've hefted her over my shoulder and never even noticed the extra weight._

But, Yuna had grown, in power, grace, and dignity, on the journey. She had commanded him to stand aside.

Auron had lost his faith in Yevon. He had lost his faith in Spira's leaders. He had lost his friends. He had even lost his life. But, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to lose the habit of obedience to his Summoner…

He stood aside, watching, helpless, _dying_ inside as Yuna chose her Final Aeon.

Then, when all was done, they marched outside to find Sin. Sin, for some reason or other, had gone back to Gagazet, so that was where the Gang went; back to the very top of Gagazet…

Sin was there, waiting for them, ready for battle. Things went just a little…crazy…after that…

When Sin was finally killed, when Jecht was finally set free, _something_ flew out from the dead body. It soared up into the new Final Aeon. Auron had been there before, and he knew what to expect. Subsequently, he had ordered everyone to equip themselves with their strongest weapons and armor. Not that _he_ wanted to live after this. But, someone had to make sure as many Guardians as possible survived this encounter…

Auron had taken up position on Yuna's left, with Wakka on the right. The precipice was totally unsheltered from the elements, and the wind shrieked through everyone's clothes and hair…

Yuna was looking up at the Final Aeon, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What have I done?" she whispered.

"Get back, my Lady," Auron ordered. "Let us do what we can."

The Final Aeon was coming on, sword out, ready to kill the one who had Summoned it. Auron drew Masamune, but the Aeon was out of range of anything he could do…

Wakka's Blitzball streaked out, thumping the Aeon solidly in the chest. The Blitzballer had tears in his eyes, but he was standing firm.

"You ain't facin' that alone, Sir Auron,"

That was the last thing Wakka would ever say…

The Final Aeon's silvery-blue sword, blade longer than the tallest Ronso's height, slashed downward…

_At least Wakka died quickly…_

Auron started to unleash a Break Attack, but the Final Aeon spun around, the flat of its blade catching Auron across the chest, sending him flying right off the precipice. There was a brief, tumbling, sensation of freefall. Then, impact, followed by swift darkness…

Pain brought him back, stabbing through his chest, tracing a fiery path from his left shoulder, down his arm. He could scarcely feel the fingers in his left hand. His eyelashes had frozen together, blinding him totally.

Blinking, he scrubbed at his left eye with his good hand; was finally able to pry his good eye open.

The sun was just beginning to rise, the sky gently brightening in the east…

_I've been unconscious for a whole night; at the very least. What of the others?_

Moving was agony, but he pulled himself to his knees, the pain in his chest pulsing with every breath he took. Masamune lay just a few feet away. He tried to get to his feet, but his knees refused to cooperate, so, he crawled over to his sword, icy fingers closing around the hilt.

Auron knelt there for a few seconds, marshalling his reserves.

_Get up!_ He ordered himself. _Move!_

Grimly, he hauled himself to his feet, and the world wobbled. Reeling, he staggered, falling to one knee.

Using the Masamune for leverage, he pulled himself upright once more…

…And stayed on his feet…

He looked around, and listened, for any signs of his companions; but there was nothing within sight.

"Yuna! Rikku! Kimahri! Lulu!"

He called their names as loudly as he could. Then, he listened, praying, to a deity he no longer believed in, that there would be someone to answer his call. But, no one answered. No one at all…

So…

They were all dead, then. What a fool he had been to think it could have ended any other way…

So, here he was, stumbling down Mount Gagazet…

_Again…_

All his promises rendered null and void.

_Forgive me, Lord Braska, forgive me, Jecht…_

But, how could there be any kind of forgiveness for him?

_Yuna…Tidus…I let them…I let them…_

Even now, alone as he was, he couldn't complete the thought, couldn't accept what had happened. The agony of it was simply too great to be accepted…

His knees folded underneath him, pitching Auron forward, onto the snowy ground. One small part of his mind insisted that he get up, that lying face-down in a bed of snow was a very good way to die.

But, he was out of…

Whatever it was that had kept him going all these years…

All he had left was grief, and agony.

The looming darkness slowly encroached, erasing grief, erasing agony, until there was nothing left…

* * *

Lulu looked around, counting the survivors; herself, Kimahri, and Rikku. Then, she looked at the spot where Yuna and Wakka had died. At least they had been able to bury the bodies. Auron, though…

Lulu shuddered. It just wasn't right that the Legendary Guardian's body should lay unburied, food for carrion. But, once he had been knocked off the precipice, there was no way to locate his body. It would be just one more of the thousands of corpses littering the pathways of Mount Gagazet. The entire place was really just a gigantic abattoir, and there was nothing Lulu could do about that; except mourn…

Rikku's crying had finally begun to slow, easing to hiccoughing sobs.

_Who would've thought Kimahri would be such a good hand at soothing sobbing girls?_

The Ronso sat next to the Al Bhed girl, arm around her as she cried into his chest, his massive hand gently stroking her hair, soothing, and calming her grief…

The sun was rising now, the day after Yuna's victory over Sin.

It sure didn't feel like victory…

Well…The dead were buried; at least the bodies they could find. But, there was no one to Send them. Not that Yuna needed it…

_She must have accepted death long before we got here. But, Wakka and Auron…_

Lulu shuddered again, as she realized that Auron had also very likely accepted death long before. It was just a feeling. But, now that she thought about it, she was certain of it…

_But, Wakka…Oh, dear gods…Wakka…_

The thought of Wakka, turning into a Fiend filled her with yet more grief.

_But, there's nothing we can do. So…We concentrate on the living…_

Smoothing her skirts, Mog in the crook of her arm, she paused to put her impassive face on, and then turned to face the others.

"It's time to go," she announced.

Rikku wiped her face, still drawing ragged, sobbing breaths. But, she got to her feet. Kimahri rose with her, massive arm cast protectively around her.

"Where can we go, Lulu?" Rikku asked

That was going to be a problem…

Thanks to the actions of a certain Maester Seymour, the Guardians were now all heretics and traitors. Just about anyone could either turn them in to the authorities, or even kill them, and expect a reward.

But, there was one place which _might_ be safe.

The Calm Lands…

Certainly it was a vast area. And Father Zuke had more than insinuated that they would be safe there.

Yes; it was big enough, with all its endless plains, to hide three ex-Guardians. They could decide what to do once they got there.

_But, first, we must get off Mount Gagazet…_

The trio began to move silently, weapons at the ready. The early-morning sun shone brightly, lacing the snow with diamond-sparkle. The sunny beauty of the day offended Lulu. What right did the day have to be so beautiful when three of the people she loved were dead, and the fourth condemned to live as Sin?

_Why did Yuna choose this? We all begged her not to. Even Auron…_

_That_ had shaken Lulu most of all, to see Auron pleading with Yuna; a ghastly repetition of the events of ten years ago…

_Why? Did she feel guilt over Maester Seymour's death? It was his choice to end the way he did. Why did Yuna have to accept Seymour's guilt as if it were her own?_

Whatever the reason, Yuna had stood firm, and, when it looked as though Auron might be ready to abandon his own vows and bodily drag her away, she had commanded him formally; as a Summoner to her Guardian.

_She had to know what that would do to him…_

Lulu had seen him, how the light had gone out of him, how something seemed to have died within him…

_Maybe it was better for him to die than to live with this…_

Lulu bumped into Kimahri. The Ronso stood, looking up, shielding his eyes against the sun, peering upward intently.

"What's wrong, Kimahri?"

"Final Aeon," the Ronso nodded upward. "It circles sky."

Lulu peered upward, following Kimahri's gaze. The Final Aeon _was_ soaring overhead. Lulu's throat tightened with unshed tears...

Its form was vaguely reminiscent of Valefor, although undeniable male. Not yet completely tainted by Sin, this Final Aeon was a beautiful sight, with plumage the color of sun and sky; gold and blue, with accents of white. Lulu stared upward, watching it swim through the sky with all the natural grace of a born Blitzballer…

It _was_ circling the sky…

"Why would he do that?" Rikku wondered aloud. "What's he looking for?"

"Final Aeon circles because he has found what he seeks," Kimahri stated. "Final Aeon circles to lead us to what he has found."

"But, _why_ would he-"Rikku broke off, eyes wide.

Lulu said it for them.

"He's found Auron."

Now, they were running, following the Final Aeon as best they could. Minutes later, the Aeon dove for the ground, drawing its sword, which looked like a bigger, and far _badder_, version of the Brotherhood Sword…

"That can't be good!" Rikku gasped.

"Fiends nearby," Kimahri ran faster, the others struggling to keep up. The crashing sounds of battle sounded just ahead.

Lulu's heart was thumping in her chest as they finally rounded the corner. There the Final Aeon was, in the midst of an explosion of pyre flies. Surrounded by all sorts of Fiends-Grats, bashuras, Grenades, Bandersnatches, even a few Mech Trainers and Defenders-the Aeon was standing guard over a scarlet-clad body lying face-down in the snow…

Lulu's breath caught in her throat. There were so many Fiends! They were practically climbing over each other in their quest to extinguish that one life. But, the Final Aeon stood between them and Auron…

It was a vastly unequal contest. Although the Fiends held the advantage in terms of sheer numbers, the Final Aeon was an Entity who had been designed with one purpose in mind; to defeat Sin. These Fiends were kittens trying to attack a lion.

Almost, Lulu felt pity for them.

It was over in minutes, the last Bashura exploding in a cloud of pyre flies. Then, all was calm, as the last bits of sparkle shimmered and died away. Lulu approached the Final Aeon cautiously, eyes on Auron. The man hadn't stirred through the battle, and there was blood on the snow under his body.

Lulu looked up at the Aeon.

"It's me," she spoke in a soothing voice. "I'm going to check on Auron, all right?"

The Aeon just hovered there, sword in hand, watching as Lulu made her way to the unconscious Guardian. She knelt by his side, reached out slim fingers, wrapping them around Auron's right wrist, seeking a pulse. She found it, weak, erratic, but _there_…

Heaving a sigh, she gestured to Rikku and Kimahri. As they ran up, Lulu tried to get Auron turned over, to get a better look at his wounds. His body was a dead weight, but, with Kimahri's help, she managed to get him turned over…

Auron's face was a mass of bruises, his good eye almost swollen shut, and blood was dripping from his nose. His breathing was labored, and the reason was not far to seek. The chest-plate he wore had been dented-even cracked in places-along his left side.

_Broken ribs, at the very least…_

She fished out a Hi-Potion, lifted his head, and got him to swallow most of it without choking. It wouldn't _Heal_ the damage; but it would strengthen him, keep him alive until they could find a Healer. Now, if only one of those Traveler Spheres were nearby…

Holding him in her arms, she looked up.

"Rikku!" she called. "Is there a nearby Traveler Sphere?"

"Yes!" the girl had hopped atop a large snow-covered rock, and was now looking in all directions. "It's this way!"

"Good," Lulu looked up at the Ronso. "Pick him up, Kimahri. We're heading for the Traveler Sphere. "Hopefully, it'll get us to the Airship."

The Ronso knelt, lifted the unconscious body carefully, as gently as if it were a sick child instead of a Legendary Guardian. As Lulu got to her feet, she saw Rikku hop from the rock, bend, and pick something up from the icy ground.

It was Auron's sunglasses, the frames noticeably bent.

_Where's his sword? _Lulu wondered. _Ah…there it is…_

She strode over to Masamune, picked up the hilt, and staggered, surprised by the weight of it…

_He always carried it slung, casually, over his shoulder, as if it weighed nothing at all…_

Gritting her teeth, she hauled it over, point dragging on the ground.

"Where's the Sphere?" she asked Rikku.

"Right this way," Rikku led them to it, the Final Aeon following overhead. That broke Lulu's heart yet again…

There was still a lot of Tidus left in the Final Aeon. That had been why the Aeon fought so hard to protect Auron, to protect the beloved father-figure. That was also why it was now providing them with an armed escort to the Traveler Sphere. Speaking of which…

There, the Traveler Sphere was, the blue orb, spinning quietly in its cradle. Lulu laid a hand on it, accessing its functions…

_Heal?_

_Board Airship?_

_Go to Luca Stadium?_

_Cancel order?_

The mere mention of Blitzball threatened to choke Lulu with grief.

_Wakka…_

Looking up at the Aeon didn't help much either. But, she had to say _something_ to thank the Aeon for saving Auron's life. But, what could she say?

Then, she knew…

"We'll be back, Tidus," it sounded like a solemn oath, like one of Auron's promises. "I promise you, we'll be back to end this. For good."

The Final Aeon seemed to nod. Then, it was gone, flying off into the brilliant blue sky. Lulu turned back to the Sphere.

_Board Airship_, she commanded.

* * *

Cid, leader of the Al Bhed, knew, very well, what had happened. His Niece was dead, killed by her Final Aeon, like her idiot of a father, Lord Braska, before her…

_Like all the idiots before them…_

And Cid knew exactly whom to blame.

_That red-coated sonofabitch! I'll…I'll…_

There was no vengeance he could think of to adequately repay Auron for Yuna's death; no punishment, no manner of death, be it however terrible…

Gods, but Cid had never before felt such rage before. Sin… summoners…Guardians…They were an unholy trinity, of sorts. All those wasted lives…

The Traveler Sphere on the Bridge suddenly began to glow.

_Survivors beaming in?_

Cid turned to face the Sphere, watching the party materialize, ready to beat a Legendary Guardian senseless-or die trying-but, whatever curses he might've leveled, whatever imprecations he might've uttered, died in his throat unsaid…

Rikku was unhurt, for which Cid thanked…well…practically everyone _but_ Yevon. But, tears were running down her cheeks, and her fingers were fussing with a broken pair of sunglasses.

The Black Mage, Lulu, was dry-eyed, but bleak desolation just flowed out from her. She held her Mog in the crook of her arm, ready to use her powers at a moment's notice. She was holding the hilt of a heavy katana in the other, the point audibly dragging the floor as she moved…

Kimahri seemed fine; but it was always difficult to tell with Ronso. He, too, was carrying something; Cid looked at the scarlet-clad body, dread, of a sort, rising in his veins…

Someone, _something_, had already beaten the Legendary Guardian senseless, and, suddenly, all thoughts of vengeance fled Cid's mind…

Auron's body lay limp, seemingly lifeless, in the Ronso's blue-furred arms…

"Buddy!"Cid snapped. "Get 'em to Sick Bay, pronto!"

* * *

One of the young men got up from his position on the Bridge.

"Please follow me," he spoke Common with almost as much ease as Rikku, or Cid.

Buddy led the survivors down the hall, scores of refugees scattering in their wake, a stunned Rin following behind…

"What has happened to Sir Auron?" Rin's cultured voice sounded behind Lulu.

"He's _hurt_, Uncle Rin," that was Rikku explaining…

Sick bay was an overwhelming sight for Lulu; rows of beds lined the large room, each bed surrounded by a bewildering array of machine the likes of which she had never seen before.

_Hopefully, the Al Bhed know how to use it…_

Kimahri laid Auron upon one of the beds, and the Al Bhed healers got to work undoing the heavy red coat, and unlatching the dented chest-plate.

Watching them work, knowing that Auron was in capable hands now, the tension drained out of Lulu, leaving her trembling with nerves, and fatigue. She senses a chair being pulled up behind her, felt strong arms press her gently into the seat.

"Lulu sit," Kimahri's tone brooked no argument. "Lulu _rest._"

Lulu watched as the healers worked, speaking softly to each other. Finally, they wrenched the chest-plate off, and Lulu gasped as she saw Auron's bare chest, saw the bruises, almost black on the left side of his rib-cage. Suddenly, she was afraid he would die…

"How bad is he hurt?" Cid entered Sick Bay. The healers spoke to him in their own language, and Cid listened carefully, asking questions, getting answers in turn…

"Four of the ribs on his left side are broken, as well as his left collar-bone," Cid translated. "There don't seem to be any internal injuries, but he has lost a lot of blood."

He paused, turned to Lulu.

"Now, you tell me why he let Yuna die."

"He didn't _let_ anything, Pops!" Rikku exploded. "It was _Yunie's_ decision.

"He shoulda smacked her a good one, and got her out of there," Cid grunted.

Lulu sighed. It was pretty clear to her that Auron _had_ thought of doing exactly that.

_So, why didn't he? He could've done it easily…_

But, she knew why…

"Yuna commanded him," Lulu said sadly, looking at Auron's bruised features. "She was his _Summoner_, and he could no more directly disobey her than he could hold back time."

"He could have-"

"No, Cid, you don't understand," finally, she had found a key to Auron. "All his life, from earliest childhood on, he had been raised to hold two precepts above all others; duty to Yevon, and obedience. Now, Braska's Pilgrimage changed things for Auron. He'd lost his faith in Yevon. But, he didn't lose the habit of obedience to his Summoner. And, _she_ commanded him to stand aside. He argued with her, pleaded with her, and he might even have considered doing it your way. I think he did. But, when she commanded him directly, that was one thing he couldn't disobey…"

"I see…"Cid took a deep breath; let it out, glancing at the healers, still working on the unconscious Guardian. The Al Bhed leader seemed a little shame-faced.

"I guess I wanted…someone to blame," he admitted.

"Oh, but there is…"Lulu felt the tears start in her eyes…

"Really?" Cid raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," tears were running down Lulu's cheeks now. "If you _must_ blame anyone, blame Yuna. She was the captain of her own fate. It was _her_ decision."

Cid flinched at her words, pain in his eyes…

"Yeah…"he husked, voice gone shaky. "I guess so…"

He shifted his feet, regained his emotional balance, but Lulu could see the cost of it…

Clearing his throat once, Cid glanced over at Auron once more.

"Let me know when he wakes up," Cid turned, strode out of Sick Bay without looking back.

"We rest," Kimahri suggested.

"Y-yeah…"Rikku agreed. "We've been through a lot. Haven't we?"

"Yes," Lulu agreed. "Why don't you two go to your quarters and get some sleep?"

"What about you, Lulu?" Rikku's voice was subdued.

"I think I'll sit by Auron for a while," Lulu said. "Go on, you two. Go to bed. I'll be fine here."

"Is Lulu sure?" Kimahri asked softly.

"Yes," lulu looked up at the Ronso. "Go; get some rest."

The others left, in search of sleep, and maybe a quiet place within which to grieve. Lulu settled herself by Auron's bed, keeping watch over him.

Stripped of coat, cowl, and armor, Auron looked…smaller...somehow…more like a normal man of flesh-and-blood than the indomitable Guardian of Legend. Bending over, she gently brushed a lock of hair back from his forehead. He didn't even stir.

This was all so wrong…

_He_ was the strong one. _He_ was the one who stood guard over unconscious friends. It hurt to see him lie there, so weak, so vulnerable, so close to death, it seemed. And Lulu didn't know what she would do if he died…

"Please, Auron," she laid a hand atop his. "Don't leave us…"

She pulled layers of blankets up and around him, enveloping him in life-giving warmth.

Now, she could weep…

* * *

It was dark in the place where Auron found himself, calm and quiet…

_Peaceful…_

The agony of earlier was gone, replaced by…numbness…

No pain, no grief, no joy, no nothing…

Auron treasured this feeling of peaceful quiet.

"Hey. You jackass!"

Auron spun, looking for the owner of that voice.

_Jecht?_

"Watcha doin' lyin' down on the job?" Jecht's voice sounded furious. "You really screwed it up this time, you sonofabitch!"

There Jecht was, as mad as hell…

"Yeah, Auron, I know…"Jecht ran a hand through his messy hair. "All those promises you made to me and Braska turned out so useless, didn't they? And, now, all you want to do is find a hole somewhere, and _hide_. I've been there a few times, myself, and it ain't nice. But, you _can't_ hide now. You can't quit now. My boy is gonna become Sin!"

"I tried, Jecht, I tried to convince Yuna."

Jecht continued pacing in front of Auron, like a caged animal.

"Yeah," he said. "I know. So, now she's dead. She's got a passport to the Farplanes, and she's gonna have tea with her Daddy, and talk about old times. But, Tidus…"

Jecht stopped pacing, turned to face Auron, white-hot fury in his gaze.

"Tidus is gonna become Sin, Auron. And I know what that's like. You're suddenly the strongest creature in Spira; super-fast, super-strong, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. And, you're crying, Auron, because you've just defeated the most evil thing on the face of the planet. You've just _saved_ the world and everything on it-"

"Jecht-"

"So you're congratulating yourself, just imagining what all those wailing women must be like. Then, you realize you're moving. But, you're not _willing_ yourself to move. And, that's when you realize someone has just tossed you out of the driver's seat, and taken over your body; and you are _helpless_ in your own flesh. But, you can feel your body move, and-_oopsie!_-you've just gone and killed your own Summoner, and you're thinking, _Shit! How the hell did that happen?_"

"Please, Jecht, I-"

"And you're flying all over the world, and Spira really _is_ a beautiful planet. But, you just don't have the time to appreciate Spira's natural beauty. You're doing far more important things, like wiping Kilika off the face of the map-"

"No more, Jecht-"

"…or obliterating _how_ many armies at Mihen? And, you're so _powerful_, that killing whole armies with a mere thought doesn't even make you break out in a sweat. And, you know, you just _know_, that killing is all you're ever going to do for the rest of your life, and it kills you inside, inches at a time…"

"Jecht! Stop!"

"_Do _something!" Jecht roared, hands clasping Auron's shoulders, shaking him. "I _know_ you loved the runt. And you were certainly a better father to him than I was. Don't abandon him to Sin. You _can't_ let him suffer that…"

Auron drew a shuddering breath.

"Jecht…" he began.

"Go back, Auron," Jecht's Blitzball-strengthened fingers squeezed Auron's shoulders. "It ain't your time yet. So go back and save my…save…_our_ son. Please, Auron, do this…"

As Jecht spoke, his grip on Auron's shoulders eased, and his voice faded into a murmuring echo, as his form melted into the misty darkness, leaving Auron alone in the darkness. It was changing around him, the darkness, becoming something other than what it had been before, as something pulled him up, and away from it…

Slowly, he opened his eye, back, once more, in the land of the living. Gods, his body ached, the pain in his chest throbbing and pulsing in time with his heartbeat. Someone had taped his ribs, bandages wound tight around his chest, more bandages immobilizing his neck, and left shoulder. And, _something_ lay against his right shoulder, pressing him gently into what felt like a mattress of some sort…

Whatever it was that lay on his shoulder, he couldn't see it. He couldn't turn his head to the right to bring his good eye into focus. It hurt too much simply to breathe, much less move around. Besides, his right arm seemed to have fallen asleep, the fingers of his right hand gone all numb and tingly…

_Wonderful…_

He grunted a little as he tried to extricate his right arm from whatever lay on it. As he moved, the thing on is arm stirred, throwing an…_arm_…a woman's arm...across his chest. Auron froze into near-catatonic immobility, scarcely even daring to breathe…

_What the hell..?_

It, whatever it was, stirred again, and a hand, the hand belonging to the arm flung across his chest, moved to gently touch his forehead. He recognized the perfume.

"Lulu?" his voice came out in a pathetic-sounding croak

"You're awake; thank Yev-"there was a pause.

"I don't know whom to thank anymore," Lulu said after a few seconds.

"I'm sorry,"Auron had gone through what Lulu was going through ten years ago; all the grief and _rage_ over being betrayed by one's god. Even now, ten years later, the pain hadn't entirely gone away. And Auron was beginning to suspect it never would.

There was nothing he could think of to say that would comfort her.

"Where are we?" he asked

We're on the Airship, heading for the Calm Lands," Lulu replied. "Are you thirsty? You sound rather…dry."

"Yes," Auron tried to pull himself into a sitting position, but pain stabbed through his chest and shoulder, practically paralyzing him.

"No, Auron," Lulu cautioned. "Let me handle it."

She pressed a button on the side of the bed, and it moved, adjusting itself until Auron was in a more upright position.

"You've got some broken ribs, and your left collar-bone is broken too, so take it easy for a while."

Lulu went to get some water, reappearing a minute later with a small plastic cup of water.

"Will you need any help?" she asked.

"Thank you, but no,"Auron spoke dryly. "This much, I should be able to handle."

"Small sips, mind you."

"Yes," Auron accepted the cup with his good hand, sipped the water gratefully. The cool wetness of it soothed the back of his throat. It was time to reckon the cost, to total up the butcher's bill…

"Who survived?" he asked

"We were…fortunate…" Lulu sat, smoothing her skirts. "Rikku and Kimahri also survived. You were the only survivor to suffer injuries of any note.

"So, Yuna, Wakka, and Tidus…"

"Yes."

"Yes."

Auron grunted at that. The blankets had slipped down, leaving his bandaged torso bare. Only now did he realize he was naked under those blankets. He couldn't help but see Lulu raise an eyebrow as he tried to pull the blankets back up; a little difficult to do as his good hand was already occupied with the cup of water…

Lulu snorted a little, moved to help him, pulling the blankets back up again, and Auron heard her low-voiced murmur.

"What a hopeless prude…"

Still, she found a spare blanket, and draped that around his shoulders' for extra cover.

"There," she spoke dryly, the merest hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Do you feel a little more…decent…now?"

Auron ignored that with all the dignity he was capable of. But, he couldn't fight the flush that slowly warmed his cheeks.

Well…he would ignore that too, if he had to…

"How are Rikku and Kimahri?" he finished the water.

"They're asleep by now, I would think," Lulu said.

"So…"Auron set the empty cup to one side. "Why did you choose the Calm Lands?"

"We'll be able to hide there for a time," Lulu sat again, beads in her hair _clacking_ softly. "Until we decide what we're going to do."

"What we're going to do…"

Auron repeated her words quietly.

Well…what _could_ they do?

Jecht, if that _was_ Jecht, and not a delirium-induced nightmare, had made his position perfectly clear. He wanted Auron to save Tidus. But, there was only one way to do that.

He would have to go out and find another Summoner-another _willing victim_-and go out on yet another Pilgrimage.

Re-enact the same tragedy all over again…

_I can't…_

_I just can't…_

He closed his eye, tired beyond reason. After a minute, he felt Lulu's hand touch his face, gently wiping the tears away…

* * *

Lulu bent over Auron, stunned speechless by what she was seeing.

Sir Auron was weeping…

She could thing of nothing to help him. Except for something she was certain he would reject. But, it was the only thing she could come up with.

So, she put her arms around the blanket-clad shoulders, and held him close.

She felt him stiffen for a second, half-ready to push himself away. But, then, something seemed to snap inside him…

Auron released a slow breath, relaxing, and quietly let his head rest on her shoulder. They stayed like that for a minute, or two. Then, he drew back, taking a steadying breath.

"So," his voice was calm, even. "We're to find another Summoner. There are only two that I know of; Isaaru and Dona. If we approach Isaaru, he would be far more likely to attack on sight, and, since he has Aeons, and I'm not in full fighting trim, any encounter with him is likely to end badly; for us in particular. Dona wouldn't be all that much better, I don't think…"

"Dona isn't a Summoner anymore. She quit her Pilgrimage," Lulu was still worried over Auron.

_Dear Yev-whatever, he wept in my arms…_

"Good for her," Auron certainly didn't disapprove of Dona's quitting the Pilgrimage. "What convinced her?"

"When we were fleeing Home's destruction on the Airship," Lulu explained. "Apparently she talked it over with Tidus, and he suggested she quit. I hear she married Barthello."

"Tidus…" Auron muttered the name softly, the pain in his eye clear to see.

"Auron…" Lulu began uncertainly. "If you've reached your limit, I would be the last one to blame you…"

"No,' the man said. "But, _I_ would."

"Of course you would!" suddenly, Lulu was _furious._ "That would be _so_ like you."

"I failed them, Auron's voice was bleak. "Yuna, and Tidus…I failed them both."

"No, you did _not_!" Lulu wanted to grab him and shake him until his brains rattled. "You gave Yuna and Tidus _everything_. You gave _us_ everything; even a Guardian who was opposed to everything the Pilgrimage represented. _That_ was why you let Rikku join the Pilgrimage, was it not? Even though you had to have known that she had been involved in at least one attempt to kidnap Yuna. But, you knew she could be counted upon to urge _life_ on her cousin. And, you also made sure, _damn sure_, that we learned just how rotten the core of the yevonite faith was, and how truly _useless_ the Summoner's Sacrifice was. Short of kidnapping her yourself, I really don't think there was anything else you could've done."

"So…_why_ didn't I?"

"Because it had to be _her_ choice, freely-willed; and no one else could do it for her. It's not your fault she's dead, Auron. It's _her's_, and her's alone."

She bowed her head, tears blurring her vision.

"Wakka…"

"Don't say it, Auron!" Lulu hissed. "I saw him die, I saw the Final Aeon kill him."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Lulu laid a trembling hand on his good shoulder. "It's not your fault."

"All right," he reluctantly conceded the point. "The problem remains. Where shall we find another Summoner?"

"I think I'll have a talk with Lady Belegamine."

Auron frowned at that. He wasn't certain if the others knew of his Unsent status. Unsent could tell other Unsent when they saw them…

"Lulu," he began. "I don't think…"

"I'm not going to ask _her_ to go on another Pilgrimage. I'm going to ask her to help _me _become a Summoner."

"_You?_" Auron's eye widened. He hadn't considered that possibility at all…

"I have strong Magical Ability, Auron. I believe I can make the transition from Black mage to Summoner. If I can, then I'll go on Pilgrimage _not_ to get the Final Aeon, but to find a way to defeat Sin permanently. I'll find a way to _destroy_ Sin. Forever."

Now, she sat, watching the play of emotions across Auron's features-_when did he lose the ability to hide his emotions?-_saw hope and despair in equal measure…

"Do you mean this?" his voice was low.

Lulu smiled, and repeated something Rikku had said to Auron when he first allowed her to join the Pilgrimage.

"One hundred percent!"

* * *

Auron closed his eye, thinking…

"It will be…difficult," he said. "We'll most likely be forced to move in secret."

"Yes," Lulu agreed. "But, it's doable. Not everyone believes we're as evil as the Temples say. There might even be some of those in the Temples themselves who would be willing to help us."

Auron considered it.

Certainly, Besaid would be the last place to believe false tales of villainy. Yuna, Wakka, and Lulu had grown up there. The people of Besaid _knew_ them. Kilika had reason to revere Wakka's name. He, and his team, the Besaid Aurochs, had virtually repaired Kilika, repairing the damage done by Sin. And, Yuna's name would be forever green in Djose, where she had spent most of her stay healing the wounded in the aftermath of Project Mihen, and in Sending the Fallen.

Macalania, and Bevelle, were the only problems, and Auron knew of a few Warrior Monks-one, or two, at the very least-that he thought he could trust, even after all these years.

As for Bevelle…

Auron had grown up there, as a Warrior Monk in training. He knew all the streets in Bevelle, including all the side streets, and most of the secret passages as well…

So…it _was_ doable…

Auron took a deep breath, committing himself, once more, to an act of faith.

"If you do this," he said. "If you become a Summoner…If you go on Pilgrimage to defeat Sin, may I have the honor of being your Guardian?"

"Thank you, Sir Auron," impulsively, Lulu hugged him, heard the man's hiss of pain.

"My ribs, woman!"

"Sorry," she patted his good shoulder. "Get some rest."

"Will _you_?" Auron asked pointedly.

"Now that I know what to do, yes, I can rest. I'll see you in the morning."

Lulu bent, kissing him on the forehead. Then, she left, heading for the room she shared with Rikku.

Auron was alone now. He laid his head back, staring at the ceiling. Jecht had been right after all…

He couldn't let Tidus endure the agony Jecht had endured. Maybe…

Maybe if Lulu became a Summoner, it would work this time. Maybe they would be able to end this endless spiral of death; for good.

For now, he would wait until Lulu was ready. Then, he would do whatever it took to help her get the Aeons she needed. He would guard Lulu, as he _should_ have guarded Yuna.

For Lulu, he would go on Pilgrimage.

_Again…_


End file.
